Poetry Heartspill # 5

Faded pictures in my memories

A scrapbook of emotions
Twirling around
Hanging on like the last
Precious moments of summer

It was the time of Twelfth Night
You were almost gone
My mom’s dad
my Russian judge

What was I to do?
Just pass out cookies
Like it was normal
Your children
Grieving someone not quite
dead

I lost you on a Monday
“What did someone die?”
Foot in mouth

You were closest to my heart
Sitting in your chair forever in my mind
I hold onto that
So I wrote a poem
Love, meglyn

My first grown-up loss
Was another
Those images fall away faster
But hurt the most

An instant message from your brother
Abrupt
Unbelieving
I thought maybe I had dreamed it

We had talked 3 days before
I yelled at you for not calling, scared you were sick
You called me “Han”, said it would be alright.
We promised not to go to Starbucks until we were together

We never did.
Instead my faith was
shaken to the core
My spirit shattered, heart
Broken

I didn’t quite know what to do
Without you and I still don’t
But I hold on
To your hugs

Two pictures slowly
Fall out of the focus of my heart
I hold on for dear life
You lost yours
But I don’t want to lose you.

the blonde one