Poetry Heartspill # 17

My heart pounds
memories infiltrate my mind
I just don't want to go there
Why do you make me?

I try
I try
I try
Why is this so hard

I have hit my road block
I need to jump this hurtle

I run
but cannot leap

the blonde one

Poetry Heartspill # 16

My tree

gazing upward
I grasp a fistful
of leaves to examine

Some weathered
some cracked
dark green
light green

but a few dead

in confusion
I wander the tree
looking

more. dead. leaves.

not enough for
a pedestrian to
notice

but for me
that loves the tree
these few
dead
leaves shock me
to the core

I start to
feverishly
dig around the trunk

"the roots
the roots"

I exclaim

I know where the answer
will begin to show itself

I tire quickly
keep digging

my hands ache
scratched
bleeding
torn

this process
takes longer then
imagined

but I know I cannot tarry
cannot stop

i must get to the roots!

the blonde one

Lyrical Love # 3

My song of joy and hope :)

When my heart is leery
of another day
and my eyes would
just like to close
When my breath becomes
softer still

You lead me here
Right to the cross
And at this moment
My world is at loss

You hold me tightly
Infuse me love

Your overwhelming love

the blonde one

Poetry Heartspill # 15

Where have I gone
I'm lost
Wandering in the darkness
Grasping for light

Trying not to sever
the only ties to hope I have

Smiling, broadly, painfully
wanting someone to look past
the darkness inside
See more
See ME

My daily struggle is to fight
not give up

So please
don't give up on me

I'm already broken enough

the blonde one

Poetry Heartspill # 14

Too Much For a Five Year Old

Silly Syllables
That have no meaning
That have no truth
Silence me

Dim-witted Doctor
Just a tonsillectomy
Hateful Teacher
She’ll never get anywhere in life
Thanks a lot.

Hurting Harmonies
That change life
That change normal
Silence me

Torment Anger Frustration
Slow down
Say it again.
What?
Never mind.


Frivolous Phrases
That always haunt
That always stay


the blonde one

Poetry Heartspill # 13

I'm scared of
the words
my pen writes

These can't be my thoughts
my desires
my reality

Where the pen meets paper
it must be
of its own accord

Freely loopy letters
phrases into
hurt anguish pain

They lack my joy
peace love
I dare not claim them

But as the tears bleed the ink
as the heart breaks on the page

I breath a mournful sigh and sign
the name that does claim
these tormented words

the blonde one

Poetry Heartspill # 12

To a year gone by

This is a year gone by
in an instant
a flash of motion emotion
love laughter hatred anger lust
joy

To stop to ponder
to think of what occured
in the small time
hurts my heart
my head

I can look back and see tears
of many different flavors
gleaming off of christmas lights
not yet taken down

I can yearn to remember
faces, memories,
of ones that loved
and ones that hurt me

This year was just another peice of the puzzle
of this life that I live

To try to compatrmentalize it in a phrase
a word
a note
belittles what it gave me
what I learned from it

I thank this year greatly
for the memories
that I saw being made
for the love that was shared

I thank it for the pain,
the trials
the tears
shed with unhappy eyes

for these things resemble growth


so with these words I say

Thank you to my friends
to which you know who you are
for allowing me to share in your day of joy.

Thank you to my friends
to which you know who you are
for memories of bonding and growth together

Thank you to my friends
to which you know who you are
for always being on the other end of a phone call

Thank you to my friends
to which you know who you are
for blessing me with your presence
for lifting me up out of my darkness
and shining some of your own God given light on me

And thank you to my God who gave me these days
these friends, and these memories.

And for today.
and this moment.

the blonde one