Poetry Heartspill #10

emotional vomit

did you even know?
you didn't did you...
what you had was amazing
love in the palm of your hand

you tossed it, threw it aside
looked for something better

"i see your true colors shining through"

its amazing what a facade you put on
you are a used car salesman, talented at what you do

and you wonder why you fall so much

isn't it exhausting playing a role daily
never letting up

well I know who you are
and what you are worth

its sad that you don't

the blonde one

Lyrical Love # 2

expanded off of lyrical love # 1

Remind Me To Live

How do you write praise without emotion?
How can I make words mean what I do not feel

Lord I don't know who I am right now

Chorus:
In my empty moments
Reveal what I already know
My heart is full of you
In my times of anguish
Bring me to lean on you
Be my Reminder

In the time before the sunrise
the light has yet to hit me
Not in the darkness nor the light

Where do I go between joy and sorrow
What do I say when live ask how I am?


Lord I don't know who I am right now

Chorus:
In my empty moments
Reveal what I already know
My heart is full of you
In my times of anguish
Bring me to lean on you
Be my Reminder

Remind me to love,remind me to live
remind me to be who I already am
Remind me of hope remind me of grace
Remind me...
of you

In my empty moments
Reveal what I already know
My heart is full of you

Be my Reminder

the blonde one

Poetry Heartspill # 9

[fictional: the dark side of poetry]


Devoid & Full

I woke up
without emotion
the passed evening
succesfully
washed down the drain
like left over pasta

Not wanting to remember
I dig deeper
Searching
Scavenging

You tricked me deviously

She was on your arm
smiling like a 4 year old
on Christmas Morning
I cringed

I can't look away
the scene photographed in my mind
pain enveloping my eyes
fire breathing up my spine

I needed to yell to scream
Doing what I do best
Angerly Avoiding

Wanting to speak
to utter your name
and then I saw it
glistening

And it fit
haunting eerie
It was clear
like new contacts

Calm Overcame

Deja Vu'
I'd been there before
Doing what I do best

Evoke, perform what I feel

The curtain fell on my memories

I woke up without emotion
but with blood on my hands

the blonde one

Poetry Heartspill # 8

a psalm of desperation

my shoulders ache
and I am tired
down is an easier way
less struggle
less pain
the end will come quicker

why am I here
here again with YOU
you led me astray
dangling deformed desires
along the way

I infuse my soul with praise
trying to shake you off
my efforts are worthless
my breath comes quicker

come help me OH MY GOD!

save me

save me from me

the blonde one

Lyrical Love # 1

Chorus of a song I'm writing that bares much repeating in my head.

In my empty moments
Reveal what I already know
My heart is full of you
In my times of anguish
Bring me to lean on you.
Be my Reminder

the blonde one

ps. www.myspace.com/meghanmr

Poetry Heartspill # 7

It's absurd
so many emotions

yet a single one cannot be matched
with a word, thought

Can I even define you
what you mean?

That anwser is no

If it was possible
you would be deemed worthy

My heart would not be cracked
I coould close the chapter

Without the use of postscript
I could paint you with
beautiful words

but no
you stand there
Naked

Undeserving of the praise I reaped
it's absurd really.

the blonde one

Poetry Heartspil # 6

You, You, You
Be done, go away

run from me
face the other direction
RUN

I've freed you
deleted you
cleansed you from my mind

It's your turn
Pain I'm letting go of
inscribed it differently

This darkness is boring
I yearn for light
truth, love

none of these you gave
for finders keepers
loser weepers?

Be gone.
I'm over.

the blonde one

Poetry Heartspill # 5

Faded pictures in my memories

A scrapbook of emotions
Twirling around
Hanging on like the last
Precious moments of summer

It was the time of Twelfth Night
You were almost gone
My mom’s dad
my Russian judge

What was I to do?
Just pass out cookies
Like it was normal
Your children
Grieving someone not quite
dead

I lost you on a Monday
“What did someone die?”
Foot in mouth

You were closest to my heart
Sitting in your chair forever in my mind
I hold onto that
So I wrote a poem
Love, meglyn

My first grown-up loss
Was another
Those images fall away faster
But hurt the most

An instant message from your brother
Abrupt
Unbelieving
I thought maybe I had dreamed it

We had talked 3 days before
I yelled at you for not calling, scared you were sick
You called me “Han”, said it would be alright.
We promised not to go to Starbucks until we were together

We never did.
Instead my faith was
shaken to the core
My spirit shattered, heart
Broken

I didn’t quite know what to do
Without you and I still don’t
But I hold on
To your hugs

Two pictures slowly
Fall out of the focus of my heart
I hold on for dear life
You lost yours
But I don’t want to lose you.

the blonde one